10 Rules of Safe Anal Sex (3/5)

--- Check out the Part 1 & Part 2 of this series ---



5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure.

The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.



In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex. Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.



6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm.

A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb.



Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure. It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.



--- To be continued... ---

Tips to get better at oral sex (1)

I am asked constantly by my readers (I guess most of them are men): "How do I please a woman orally?" or "How can I get better at oral sex?" And after reading thousands of responses to my questioners from women of all walks of life, nationalities and ages, I truly believe that in order to be great lover you must be excellent in the art of pleasing a women with your mouth, lips and tongue. So this month I am going to give you step by step instructions on how to please a woman with oral sex!

It all starts with a kiss and if you are not good at kissing you won't get far enough to get her panties off of her and use your new found oral skills. So first I want to share some flawless techniques for driving her wild with a kiss. Many women complain that after they have had sex with a man for a while or are in a relationship with a man that he does not kiss them often enough or long enough. So if you are guilty of this STOP IT NOW! And go kiss your lover like you did in the beginning. Pretend that this is your first kiss for the very first time and try to feel those same feelings all over again. Then kiss her and slowly and passionately make out with her like you used to in when you were first dating.



Believe me: a woman can tell when the very first time a man kisses her if she is going to sleep with him! Better enough, if he knows how to kiss, he definitely will be good in bed! WOW!! Your first kiss could be your last! Many women actually decide with your first kiss if they will go any further. So it stands to reason that you better polish up your kissing skills and techniques.

1. Clean Teeth and Fresh Breath

First, you absolutely must have clean teeth and fresh clean smelling breath. You should have your teeth cleaned (from a dentist) at least twice a year. And brush your teeth every morning and evening and after ever meal if possible. Drink a lot of water rather than soft drinks (for general health and for healthy teeth), coffee can stain your teeth and leave bad breath. Also if you are on a date and you go to dinner, after you eat go to the restroom and clean your teeth and make sure you don't have any food stuck in your teeth. The natural enzymes in your mouth can cause the food to putrefy in your mouth and cause bad breath. This is especially true with meat! Keep some mints handy for the both of you. Mints are better than gum because they will dissolve where gum will stay around and may get in the way of your first kiss!

2. Keep Your Lips In Shape!

Do you want to kiss someone with dry, cracked and or raw lips? Well neither does she! So keep your lips in good shape. Keep some chapstick, carmex or other lip conditioner with you at all times and keep your lips soft and smooth. Don't pick or pull your skin on your lips, it will only make it worse!



--- Check out this section for more kissing techniques ---

10 Rules of Safe Anal Sex (2/5)

--- Continued from Part 1 ---

3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.
Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex. Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it.

Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs. For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this erogenous zone is capable of generating.

4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening. Each functions independently.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response. The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here.

Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance, simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.

--- To be continued... ---

10 Rules of Safe Anal Sex (1/5)

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex:

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum.

Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration. Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.
The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure. When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort.

Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire. Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the degree of receptivity.

--- To be continued... ---

Be Careful with Dogs on Beaches

I have heard that there are a few beaches where everyone (but I am interested in only women) goes naked. WOW! Hows exciting... I am feeling the stiffness even by reading this line!

Anyways, my main point is that, one needs to be careful from animals on beaches, especially if one is naked. One animal women need not worry about is me. And other animal they should worry about is a dog... Yes, a dog can catch you in tricky situations!

Check out the following picture...

I wish I would be this dog for a day!!! AMEN.

Watching Bollywood sex sirens improve sex drive (2)

Since I am back from the action (check out my earlier post which tells what made me indulge into the action), here is one more & refreshing lot of Bollywood sexy sirens... I am sure this time your pants will get wet!


Oh God... I am feeling something hard in my pants... I am getting so much excited!!!

Watching Bollywood sex sirens improve sex drive (1)

If you are lacking the all important sex drive, what would you do?

There are many ways to improvise on it:

1. Visit a sexologist
2. Find a "hot" girlfriend and entice her into teaching sex to you
3. Watch a XXX movie (write to me and I will send you some really hot movies at very cheap price)
4. Best way: Ogle at these sexy Bollywood sirens... Your organ will automatically start responding!

Mine has already started doing the trick... Can't resist it now... I am going for the act and will post something hotter after I am back! ;)

What is common in these sexy girls?

What is common among these three sexy and semi-nude girls?

Could not find? Oh this is not so difficult... Take a very close look at these sexy sirens... Do you see something common?

Still nothing seeing? Shae on you yaar... How can you miss something as important for a man?

Now got it? Its nothing but their sexy circular perfect shaped boobs man! Take even more closer look at their undies... Something happening in your pants, na... :)

Tips to stop worrying about infidelity

In my earlier post, I discussed primary reasons for growing infidelity and discussed one of the major concerns: "Why marriage adultery ratio is higher in Mumbai?". Let me continue with discussion on some other critical concerns:

Q: Why infidelity creeps in?

Today, many people, whose outside-marriage-relationships are posing a challenge, frequent marital therapists and psychiatrists especially in Mumbai. Psychologist at Lilavati Hospital Dr Varkha Chulani gets about two people per week with marriage infidelity issue. She feels, “There are plenty of reasons for emergence of infidelity in marriage, which varies from person to person. Commonly, it is outcome of mismatched marriage, mind check differences, sexual dissatisfaction, value disparities, experiment, fun and so and so forth.”

Q: How many categories are there?

Generally adultery sneaks in either as a one-night stand and or serious-emotional affair. It is often seen that one-stand is usually the result of sexual dissatisfaction or the desire to experiment whereas the emotion extra-marital affair is generally an offshoot of marriage-for-wrong reasons. Apparently some people who tie nuptial knot for financial benefits or in order to escape from their present situation, many a time land up in extra-marital affair to fulfil their emotional need. Such relationships are much more harrowing and demanding.

Q: What one needs to do?

Marital therapists believe that it is essential for people to think about the basic reasons behind their adultery and accordingly one should deal with it. “If it is just the outcome of their auto-sexual or polygamous nature then one requires to think about the possible consequences like hazardous sexually transmitted diseases, ill- effect on marriage, etc. For people who are involved in highly emotional extra-marital affair should take a decision for good and if they intend to stick with it then it better to officially get separated with their spouse and commit with their lovers,” suggests Dr. Bhonsle.

Growing infidelity a major concern

Infidelity in marriage is an issue that generally remains under the carpet. Powai resident and Advertising professional Govind Reddy’s (all names changed on request) incompatible wedlock of four years pushed him towards one of his colleague, which eventually resulted in an extra marital affair. Today Govind finds solace with his colleague more than with his lawfully wedded wife. Like Govind, the marriage of a city-based theatre artist Maryalin Fernandez is also witnessing infidelity. However, unlike Govind, Maryalin claims to be happily married and her adultery is nothing beyond fun and till date she has not encountered any emotional entanglement.

Infidelity in marriage or extra marital affair, which is considered as the parasite for a happy marriage came into picture with the institution of marriage for several reasons. However, this issue remained under the four walls of the house till sometime back. Contrary to the popular believe married people from both the genders are seen indulging in infidelity due to numerous reasons.

Q: Why marriage adultery ratio is higher in Mumbai?
It is believed that the ratio of infidelity in marriage is relative higher in Mumbai. Dr. Rajan Bhonsle, Senior Consultant in Sexual Medicine & Counselling at Heart to Heart Counsellors throws more light on it. “Due to the higher education level Mumbaikars get more exposure, have better accessibility and get more opportunities to interact with members from opposite sex without any trouble. This kind of social setting makes easier for people to have relationship outside their marriage.”

Tips to stop worrying about infidelity...

Arrest reducing Sex drive (Part 2)

Did your sex drive nosedive like the sensex last year? Here are nine resolutions you should
make to rekindle the flame this 2009. In my last post, I talked about first 4 tips to revive your Sex life...

1. Learn some Kama Sutra
2. Revisit old moves
3. Make a sexual to-do list
4. Have more foreplay

5. Add the funk
Sex has become a mechanical activity for many stressed couples of Mumbai. There’s a way out.
One of you – whoever’s less stressed – can change the way you make love (at least for one
night for starters). Suggestions: Forget the ice cubes cliché, get a bottle of wine instead;
play raunchy Hindi numbers, encourage dirty chatter in bed… we hope you get the drift.

6. Go on an adventurous date
A weekend trip to an exotic resort can just get the fun back into your sex. Sometimes, a
break in monotony is just what your brain needs to get energised. Go for a swim together,
take to mountain-climbing, paragliding or simply walk down the beach. Excitement needn’t
always be expensive.

7. Overcome your fear
Is there anything you or your mate want to try but breaks into a cold sweat attempting it?
There is nothing as liberating as being terrified of something and overcoming it.

8. Break one of your taboos
Similarly, if you’ve imposed any rules or taboos on yourself because of fear, lack of
knowledge or social pressure, 2009 is the year to break it.

9. Communicate better
.. and more regularly. It is perhaps the most crucial resolution for your relationship. It
seems basic, but when was the last time you discussed sex with him/her? Speaking up is one
of the most important ingredients of a healthy sex life.

Is Sex on Leave? (Part 3)

--- continued from Part 2 (Self Wirth Factor in Sex) ---

Stress, anxiety, overwork can all impact one’s libido. If ‘Honey, I have a headache!’ has become your man’s line of late, then your sex life is on toss and you need following mantras to cope up...

Coping With IT...

• A wife could use these troubled times to build the emotional intimacy and companionship with her husband, educate herself about the finer details of his problem and engage him in small joys in an unpressurising manner, such as sharing the child’s achievement in school.
• She could engage in non-sexual touching like offering a back rub or head massage to bond with him.
• She shouldn’t mind her husband wanting to spend time with his colleagues who enlighten him on ways to deal with the problem, not make any unreasonable material demands and tell him he’s not alone.
• Tell him that both of you will get through it ‘together’, and that you believe in his abilities.
• Ensure that he doesn’t blame himself. Assure him that everyone is in the same boat. Help him accept uncertainties and forgive himself for human errors, if any.
• She can help de-stigmatise seeking professional help. If he is depressed, accompany him to a counsellor.
• She could identify what brings him joy. Small things such as cooking his favourite meal, inviting his best friend over for dinner can help him.
• At times, when he is relaxed, she could take the lead, touch him sensually, with no pressure to perform, and see if he wants to take it forward.
• The woman, of course, has her own emotional and physical needs. She could channelise her libido in work and children, or sublimate her sexual urges in creative pursuits. If she is spiritually inclined, then prayer and meditation can give her comfort.
• She could also engage in self-pleasuring from time to time to deal with her own heightened sexual urges.

Arrest reducing Sex drive (Part 1)

Did your sex drive nosedive like the sensex last year? Here are nine resolutions you should
make to rekindle the flame this 2009.

1. Learn some Kama Sutra
Given that the world’s oldest guide on love, sex and spirituality is our home production, we
Indians should be most adept at the subject. Not the case with you? Well, the book will
never go out of fashion and relevance. Plus, its sex chapters have often been plucked out
and circulated on the internet, books and on DVDs. Apart from positions, it has some useful
advice on behaviour, kissing and touching as well. Turn over a new leaf tonight!

2. Revisit old moves
If you’ve stopped making certain moves in bed because they’ve bothered you or your partner,
find out exactly why it occurs and get over it. Keep in mind, though, the same goes for
him/her. Also, if you think you’re too ‘grown up’ for some moves you used to make with your
college flame, a total recall would be fun!

3. Make a sexual to-do list
We’re not saying stick Post-its on the ceiling but you and your partner can set a rough
timetable, right? Once a month, once a week, whenever suits you – it is important to make
to-do list of styles, fantasies – whatever’s fun. Remember, bargaining and bribery works
wonders here.

4. Have more foreplay
Our ‘Sexpert’ has said countless times, but our women still complain of insufficient
foreplay when it comes to sex. Here’s a fact: women who get at least 20 minutes of foreplay
are 80 per cent more likely to have an orgasm. Don’t let your lover be one in the remaining
20 per cent.

--- to be concluded ---

Is Sex on Leave? (Part 2)

--- Continued from Part 1 (Meltdown in bed) ---

Stress, anxiety, overwork can all impact one’s libido. If ‘Honey, I have a headache!’ has become your man’s line of late, then your sex life is on toss and you need following mantras to cope up...

Case 2: Self-Worth Factor
Some women get confused and anxious with the sudden withdrawal of sex, get depressed and might suspect that their husband is having an extra-marital affair or satisfying his sexual urges in other ways. Such anxious women must de-link affection and physical intimacy, and be educated about ‘temporary psychological impotence’ stemming from increased stress.

In some cases, over-consumption of alcohol can be a problem, especially with regular drinkers who try to deal with stress via alcohol. This takes a huge toll on the relationship, as the woman finds it difficult to empathise with a husband who gets drunk every night, whines about problems, and doesn’t wish to address the crisis in a logical manner.

In such a condition, marriage counselling helps the couple understand each other’s emotional needs. Also, stress counselling helps the man deal with the financial and sexual lull in life.
A man can be taught to reach out and be sensitive to his wife’s needs, and the woman can be educated to not make it all about herself, be ‘emotionally available’ and not use the husband’s vulnerability against him ever. The couple must remember that this a temporary but crucial phase and how they handle it ‘together’ decides the future status of the relationship.

Moreover, the ‘emotional intimacy’ during this crisis can strengthen their relationship, and there can be some surprising moments of physical intimacy, emerging from such emotional bonding.

--- to be concluded (How to cope up with it) ---

Is Sex on Leave? (Part 1)

Stress, anxiety, overwork can all impact one’s libido. If ‘Honey, I have a headache!’ has become your man’s line of late, then your sex life is on toss and you need following mantras to cope up...

Most women take sexual rejection very personally, especially if their sense of self-worth is linked to love and acceptance from their partner. When a sexual advance by a woman is turned down by her man, she views herself as being an inadequate lover, spouse and even a person. She believes that her ‘lovability’ is defined by the affection she receives or does not receive from her partner.

Case 1: Meltdown in bed
The current trend of sexless marriages, due to lowered self-esteem of men facing a financial crisis and resultant stress, is leading to varied reactions among women. Some working women who are aware of the global crisis, show greater empathy and do not blame their partner for the financial situation, or the subsequent lack of interest in sex. Instead, they assume the role of a sounding board, and also attempt to motivate them to be optimistic and deal with the crisis ‘together’.

On the other hand, some women add to their husbands’ woes by being confrontational, demanding, aggressive and blaming them for the loss of both, ‘money and sex’ and launch a direct attack on their partner’s manhood. This only makes matters worse, as the most vulnerable areas of a man are targeted. The woman, who has shoved a guilt-trip down her husband’s throat, can be rest assured that the financial crises may end, but her sex life will never improve. Women need to understand that ‘sex is not between the legs but between the ears’, and therefore also understand that a healthy and relaxed mind is important for mutually satisfying physical intimacy. Some women get confused with the sudden withdrawal of sex and might suspect that their husband is having an extra-marital affair!

--- to be continued (Self Worth Factor in Sex) ---

Can eggs enhance Sex life?

Q1: For the last two years, I have been eating three to five eggs per day. I exercise daily for 10 to 30 minutes. Will it affect my sex life in any way?

Ans1: Do you own a chicken farm? It won’t harm you sexually, but do not eat uncooked eggs, they might have an infection. Try eating a balanced diet of vegetables, fruits, fish, etc.

Q2: I am a 26-year-old man. I am masturbating since the last eight to nine years. I will be getting married soon. I smoke six to seven cigarettes a day, will this affect my stamina? How can I build my stamina to I can have proper sex?

Ans 2: Fitness is not only for sex. A healthy diet and regular exercise will build your stamina. Masturbation won’t affect your life but please stop smoking.

Why SavitaBhabhi.com closed down?

With hordes of other pornographic sites accessible to Indian netizens, is "Savita Bhabhi" being unfairly targeted? "The Kamasutra has explicit illustrated images, too. It is a visual art form and so is Savita Bhabhi. If the govt has banned the website, then they might as well ban the Kamasutra," protests an animator. "We should avoid making the pornography issue Savita Bhabhi-centric, and realise the larger picture ," says a psychiatrist. Savita Bhabhi, allegedly, promoted usage of vibrators that allow women to "ignore" men as far as sex is concerned. However, women literally used men...

Who is she?
Launched in March 2008, Savitabhabhi.com is an adult cartoon strip featuring a married Indian woman's sexual adventures. It quickly acquired a cult following with its funny plot lines and the uniqueness of having an Indian setting in a porn strip. The strip received much press last year, from Indian and international media outlets. According to Alexa.com, Savitabhabhi is the 82nd most visited Indian website, attracting more visitors than Bseindia.com, BSE's website.

After dilly-dallying for over 10 months, Indian government has finally banned this site. The CCA, a government agency under the Department of Information Technology, is entrusted under the IT Act to block websites. There were several complaints against the site. We have taken action under the relevant sections of the IT Act and blocked the site," said CCA spokesperson. When asked if the agency will give a chance to the owners of the site to defend themselves, he said nobody has come forward so far with such a request.

Efforts to reverse the ban have already sprung up on the Internet. A website, Savesavita.com, attempts to channelise support and action against censorship. The creators of Savitabhabhi are known only by their screen names. In an email interview with contentSutra, the main brain behind the site, who goes by the handle Deshmukh, said they were exploring legal options. "We are talking to our lawyers and trying to figure out our options."

Disclosure Policy

This policy is valid from June 30, 2009, courtsey http://disclosurepolicy.org

This blog does not accept any form of advertising, sponsorship, or paid insertions. I write for my own purposes. However, I may be influenced by my background, occupation, religion, political affiliation or experience.

Though most of the contest on this blog is original, sometimes I do get compensated for writing content. However, the compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network.

The owner(s) of this blog is not compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners. If we claim or appear to be experts on a certain topic or product or service area, we will only endorse products or services that we believe, based on our expertise, are worthy of such endorsement. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.

Tips for unprotected sex (5)

Q1: I am a 19-year-old boy. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, my underwear is wet. It does not smell. Please tell me if those are sperms.

Ans 1: Don't worry. It is a natural secretion. It is not likely to contain sperms.

Q2: I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend’s vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?

Ans 2: Are you a bhel puri vendor? Where did you get this weird idea from? There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control. You can consider using a condom.

Q3: I am 18 years old. My penis curves towards the right. Is this normal? Which doctor can I consult?

Ans 3: You can visit an andrologist or a urologist surgeon. However, a little curvature should not bother you. You will be able to have intercourse.

Regestrone, Large hips & Sex

Q1: I am a 25-year-old woman. My periods have been irregular for the past five years. I get them for two to three months in a year. I take a tablet called Regestrone. I will be getting married soon; will I have a problem conceiving? Also I have no knowledge about sex. Please help me.

Ans 1: The gynaecologist who recommended Regestrone can help you with your problem. I feel you will be fine after marriage. Sex and pleasure can be achieved without menstruation, so do not worry. Use the Internet to find out about sex, love, menstruation, vagina, hymen and female hygiene.

Q2: I am a 24-year-old boy. I have an athletic body, but my hips are large. I am straight, but friends think I am gay. My girlfriend has also started teasing me. I am very embarrassed. Please help.

Ans 2: So what! You have a great girlfriend. A little teasing should not upset you. You are what you are, why worry about what others think of you?

HIV AIDS & Indian Viagra

Q1: I tried to have sex with a sex-worker when I was drunk. I could not get an erection but my penis did touch her genitalia. Are there any chances of contracted HIV?

Ans 1: That was very dangerous behaviour. You can’t assume what might have happened, so it is best to get yourself tested. See a dermatologist who has experience of treating STD and HIV/AIDS infections. You can phone the doctor at 22056538 or 24143895.

Q2: Does Indian Viagra have the same effect as an imported one? Secondly is it safe to have it after consumption of alcohol?

Ans 2: The drug Sildenafil is used [as Viagra]. If bought from a reliable firm, it is as effective as the imported one. Whether you should take the tablet at all will be the doctor’s decision. It is advisable to refrain from alcohol, even if it does not affect performance, as sheer bravado makes you forget to put on the condom.

Breast milk & Hereditary sexual problems

Q1: I am planning to get married soon. My fiancée's parents are diabetic. Will the disorder get transferred to me via intercourse? Also, will she suffer from health problems in the future?

Ans 1: Since she is healthy at present, why worry about what might happen in the future? Diabetes does not get transferred via intercourse.

Q2: Is it safe to consume breast milk? Does it reduce the milk content? Is it produced constantly in a woman's body?

Ans 2: Everything has a limit. Can a cow give you a continuous supply of milk? Best if you taste a few drops and leave the rest for the baby.

Tips for unprotected sex (4)

Q1: I got married recently. My problem is that I am unable to have sex for more than two to three minutes. I ejaculate too soon. What do I do? Are there any medications available to cure this problem?

Ans 1: After entry into the vagina, do not start stroking immediately. Wait till you gain control and then stroke. Stop much before you wish to ejaculate. Repeat the procedure 10 to 15 times. Your condition will improve in four months. Take a course of NEO Tablets (Charak), one tablet, twice a day for four weeks.

Q2: I am 27 years old. Whenever I use a condom while having sex with my wife, I experience some infection on my penis. What do I do?

Ans 2: It is best you consult your doctor. It may be a mild infection. Both of you need to be treated.

Tips for unprotected sex (3)

Q1: I am an18-year-old boy. I do not masturbate. Is this the age to start? Also I want to know how much time gap should be there between two sessions of masturbation.

Ans 1: It is completely your decision. Masturbation is done to satisfy a sexual urge. There is no fixed number or occasion for masturbation.

Q2: I am a 30-year-old woman. My periods last only for two days. Is this normal? Also I have a lump under my right armpit which hurts before my periods start. Please help.

Ans 2: Maybe you are anaemic. Consult a doctor. The lump may be innocent, but you must get a check up from a reliable gynaecologist. A mammography may be suggested.

Q3: I am a 20-year-old man. I want to know what the white fluid which comes out of a woman’s vagina is. Is there any harm in swallowing it?

Ans 3: Women, when excited get lubricated and what you may have seen is the residual fluid. No harm in swallowing it.

Tips for unprotected sex (2)

Q1: I am a 22-year-old woman. I have sex with my boyfriend once a week. We usually engage in safe sex. However, since the last two days, whenever I press my breasts, they secrete some fluid like milk. Is this a sign of pregnancy? Please help me. If you think I am pregnant, please prescribe tablets that will help me abort.

Ans 1: You may not be pregnant and this secretion may be completely normal. But you do need to see a doctor and identify the cause.

Q2: I want to know the best options of female contraceptives. I have heard of female condoms and vaginal tablets. Are they safe and effective?

Ans 2: The barrier tablet dissolves in the vagina and kills the sperms. But it is not as safe as the male condom. The female condom is safe but expensive and is not freely available.

Q3: I am a 17-year-old boy. I heard that testicles grow in size at this age. If they don't grow much, what must one do? Also, my moustache has not yet grown properly. Please help.

Ans 3: Both your moustache and testicles will grow till the time you are 18 or 19. Help yourself by being patient.

Prevent burning sensation @ vagina during intercourse

Q1: I am a 19-year-old man and have a girlfriend of the same age. We had sex on December 18 last year and I gave her an i-pill immediately. She got her periods on December 28. But this month they are delayed. She is afraid she may be pregnant. What should we do?

Ans 1: The i-pill is not meant to be used as a contraceptive. Use a condom on all occasions to avoid stress later.

Q2: I have a 23-year-old girlfriend. When I penetrate her vagina, she says it hurts a lot and she also feels a burning sensation. Due to her discomfort we are always in a rush to get over with sex. I feel guilty as I feel I am hurting her rather than satisfying her. Please help.

Ans 2: Use a lubricant such as KY Jelly. If pain occurs just as you penetrate then she should apply Xylocaine 2% about 20 minutes before sex and wipe it off just before intercourse.

How to achieve Orgasm?

Q1: I am a 17-year-old boy. My foreskin remains tight when my penis is erect and does not sweep down the mushroom when I masturbate. Are there any chances of this affecting my sex life?

Ans 1: The mushroom is called the glans (head of the penis). See a surgeon who will decide if you need to undergo a simple and safe operation called circumcision. Speak to your parents. It is better to do the procedure now.

Q2: What is an orgasm? How can I achieve it?

Ans 2: An orgasm is the final stage of a sexual episode giving intense pleasure to the body. In men, it is accompanied by ejaculation of semen and in women, there is uterine (womb) contractions and pelvic throbbing. It can be achieved by both — self stimulation or sexual intercourse.

Women with strong jawlines have more affairs

Looking for a faithful wife? Check out the size of her chin, for a new study has found that
women with strong jawlines tend to have more affairs. Researchers have carried out the study and found that women with larger chins are actually more sexually active than those with softer chins, the latest issue of the Personality And Individual Differences journal reported.

According to them, a large chin is often the product of a high level of the male growth hormone testosterone, which is present in all women in various amounts — but a high level of the hormone increases sexual assertiveness in a woman.

“It is difficult to conceal physical features, such as facial characteristics, that are partly governed by testosterone and reliably correlate with one's sexual history and attitudes. The research is the first to our knowledge to suggest that a more masculine facial appearance in women might convey their sexual unrestrictedness and perhaps their long-term mate quality,” Lorne Campbell, one of the researchers, was quoted as saying.

How deep penetration should be?

Q1: How deep should penetration be for the hymen to rupture?

Ans 1: About half an inch or less. The hymen is located just behind the entry of the vagina.

Q2: I am a 24-old-woman. My husband doesn’t want to use a condom. Can I have an I-Pill instead? Also should it be consumed before or after the intercourse?

Ans 2: Insert a vaginal tablet TODAY 20 minutes before intercourse. However, it’s not 100 per cent effective. Do not take I-Pill regularly; it is not meant to be a contraceptive. Instead take a low dose hormone pill like Ovral-L tablet under a doctor’s guidance. Your husband can use a condom from the 10th day of your menstruation to the 15th day (count from the 1st day). On other days you use TODAY.

Tips for unprotected sex (1)

Q1: I am 21 years old. I have been indulging in unsafe sex with my boyfriend. But, always have a pill after the act. I have had six I-pills in December. Now, my periods are delayed. The pregnancy test has been negative. What do I do?

Ans 1: You have over medicated yourself. I-pill is advised only as an emergency contraceptive pill. Take a regular pill such as Mala-D or Ovral-L or else, your boyfriend must use a condom.

Q2: I am 34 years old. I got married three years back and enjoy a good sex life. We wish to have a kid. However, for the last one week, I haven't been getting an erection, despite my wife's help. My wife is undergoing PCOD (polycystic ovarian disease) treatment. I am required to provide a semen sample for the same. Please help.

Ans 2: Finding it difficult to get an erection is quite common when one is obliged to provide a semen sample. Go back to the pleasure aspect. Have sex every alternate day, starting from the eighth day of the period cycle. Ask the doctor whether you can provide him a semen sample from home.

Polluted water CAUSES male infertility

A new study has linked water pollution to the rising incidence of male infertility. The study by Brunel University, the universities of Exeter and Reading and the Centre for Ecology & Hydrology identified a new group of chemicals that act as "anti-androgens". These compounds inhibit the function of the male hormone, testosterone, thereby reducing male fertility. These testestorone blocking chemicals are finding their way into water systems such as rivers.The research suggests that when they get into the water system, these chemicals may play a pivotal role in feminising male fish. Some of these compounds are also contained in drugs, including cancer treatments, pharmaceutical treatments and pesticides used in agriculture.

Some myths about sex explained (2)

Myth 1: Viagra is 100 per cent effective...

Myth 2: Virgins have hymens...

Myth 3: Withdrawal is birth control...

Myth 4: Oral sex is safe... Reality: Another misconception on the list is that oral sex does not put people at risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Though the possibility of contracting HIV through a fellatio is still under debate, there is still risk of catching other STDs, even if the male does not ejaculate in your mouth. Organisms such as chlamydia and gonorrhea are present in the pre-ejaculate that will cause infections. There is risk of a herpes infection as well as syphilis.

Myth 5: You can't get pregnant if you aren't ovulating... Reality: As regards to thoughts that women can't get pregnant if they aren't ovulating, the expert said that it was not true. A normal menstrual cycle is of 28 days, however some women experience irregular cycles. The first day of your cycle is the first day of your period. You produce an egg on day 14 of a 28 day cycle. A sperm can live for two days inside you. So theoretically, you can have safe sex till day nine of your cycle. For this method to be effective, you have to have very regular cycles. Periods can be irregular due to various physiological as well as psychological causes.

Myth 6: Contraceptives protect against STDs... Reality: Fulbright debunked the myth that contraceptive pills protects against STDs. The expert said that such pills provide protection only from pregnancy, adding that it's the condom that can protect against STDs when sexually active.

Art of Kissing...

The ways of expressing affection may have changed but kissing hasn’t. Read on to learn the finer nuances of kissing...

1. Butterfly Kiss
2. Cheek Kiss
3. Earlobe Kiss
4. Foot Kiss
5. Forehead Kiss
6. French Kiss

Hand Kiss

Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Tiger Kiss

Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise her.

Nip Kiss

This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Talking Kiss

Whisper sweet nothings into your partner’s mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn’t kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Vacuum Kiss

While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partner’s mouth. This is a playful kiss.

Some myths about sex explained (1)

Dr Yvonne Fulbright, founder of Sexuality Source Inc, breaks more myths on sex

Myth 1: Viagra is 100 per cent effective... Reality: Popping the blue pill is not the effective path to an amorous evening. Fulbright emphasises that men bearing this notion needed to think again because a desire component is needed for males to become sexually aroused and attain erection. So if you are "not in the mood", there is little that the magic pill can do.

Myth 2: Virgins have hymens... Reality: The presence of a hymen is a popular indicator of a woman being a virgin, and it's absence, a sure sign of intercourse. However Fulbright debunks the myth saying that this might not be true for all women - girls are born with hymens of various sizes and openings. Some might appear to have no hymen at all. Also physical activities such as bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics, etc. can stretch the hymen and even break it. Hence the hymen is not an indicator of "virtue".

Myth 3: Withdrawal is birth control... Reality: Fulbright says pregnancy could occur any time unprotected intercourse was indulged in, whether or not the male had climaxed. A bit of sperm leaks out of the penis even before ejaculation. Also, if a man ejaculates close to the outside of the vagina, the sperm can swim up the vagina, resulting in conception.
Thus, according to Fulbright, withdrawal is not recommended as a form of birth control, especially for males who are sexually inexperienced.

Few more sex-myths explained >>

How to kiss in the best way?

The ways of expressing affection may have changed but kissing hasn’t. Read on to learn the finer nuances of kissing...

Butterfly Kiss

With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Cheek Kiss

This is a friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner’s shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Earlobe Kiss

Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises, as ears are sensitised noise detectors.

Foot Kiss

An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

Forehead Kiss

The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

French Kiss

The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth’s breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".

More tips on the art of kissing! >>

Ways to boost your lover's libido (2/2)

--- Continued from PART 1 ---

Sexual incompatibility among partners can be attributed to many events like childbirth, stress, or loss of a loved one. Other sexual difficulties, like problems attaining orgasm, a waning sex drive, or erectile dysfunction can also have one partner far from looking forward to lovemaking.

And here are some of the tried-and-tested ways to sell your partner the idea of more sex:

1. Entice your partner with orgasm exploration.

2. Incorporate fantasy throughout the day.

3. Stay connected when you do have sex.

4. Keep things novel and spicy in and out of the bedroom. In exploring what turns both of you on when it comes to sex, you can broaden your sexual repertoire. You want to make your lover feel like you're embarking on an adventure, not just going for a simple roll in the hay.

5. Look your best. While we can't look like our supermodel selves 24/7, putting effort into your appearance helps you put out more persuasions. You'll be harder to resist.

6. Engage in verbal foreplay. While men often need sex to feel loved, women often need to feel loved before they engage in sex. The more you engage in all types of erotic talk affectionate, romantic, sexy - the more you'll pique your lover's interest.

7. Consider how you size up sexual satisfaction. Sex doesn't always have to end in intercourse. So rethink your pleasure and the different ways you can realize sexual satisfaction that doesn't necessarily require going "all the way."

Lastly, don't forget that honesty is the best policy. Talking openly to each other about what sex means to you without being demanding or putting expectations on each other is often necessary.

Ways to boost your lover's libido (1/2)

Sexual incompatibility among partners can be attributed to many events like childbirth, stress, or loss of a loved one. Other sexual difficulties, like problems attaining orgasm, a waning sex drive, or erectile dysfunction can also have one partner far from looking forward to lovemaking.

But, all the above problems can be dealt with the help of your doctor and/or sex therapist, reports Fox News. And if all the above reasons do not explain your case, then you should assess how your relationship has evolved, and do something to regenerate your partner's passion.

Simple actions like holding hands, playful pats and lusty lip-locks can have both of you craving a deeper sexual connection in no time. And here are some of the tried-and-tested ways to sell your partner the idea of more sex:


1. Entice your partner with orgasm exploration. Read up on the many types of peaking men and women can have, and let your lover know that you want to explore how both of you can reach new climactic heights.

2. Incorporate fantasy throughout the day. Plant seeds in your partner's head of things you know spark interest. Share a hot thought you had involving an erotic moment you once shared. Describe body parts you miss touching and how you're consumed with longing. Rent a movie with a sexy or romantic storyline. Pursue anything that will put your lover in a sensual state of mind.

3. Stay connected when you do have sex. Don't make sex about physical gratification alone. Truly worship your lover and hail the lovemaking as a celebratory experience? One you can't get enough of.

Click here for PART 2 of the series...

Choosing the right contraceptives (3)

--- Continued from PART 1 & PART 2 of the series ---

Here’s a list of some popular contraceptive methods along with their risks and benefits:

5. Intrauterine Systems (IUS)

• In addition to being a contraceptive, it usually makes your periods shorter, lighter and pain-free. So it’s often used in order to treat period problems. It contains a reservoir full of female hormone, ‘progestogen’. This hormone is steadily released into your womb, day after day, for as long as you use the device, making it more effective in preventing pregnancies. The IUS can last for up to five years, after that, it’s ‘worn out’ – so you would need to have it changed.
• Risks: Irregular periods, headaches, acne and breast tenderness.
• Benefits: It starts to protect you against pregnancy as soon as it’s been put in. Incidentally, if you decide that you now want to get pregnant, your fertility should return immediately after the device is removed. You can keep it in for five years and it usually gets rid of your period pain. Also, after a few months, it should reduce menstrual flow to little or nothing.
• Medical advice: Women with unexplained vaginal bleeding, pelvic infections, structural abnormalities of the womb or cervix and heart valve trouble should not use it. It is suitable for those who have had children.
• Warning: IUS can occasionally fall out or penetrate the wall of the womb (‘perforation’), especially during insertion.
  

Besides these methods, one always has the conventional option of the natural contraception (Withdrawal method and Rhythm method). Do not forget, majority still prefer the popular condoms, which are 98 per cent safe and also act as a protection against sexually transmitted diseases. However, it is very important to consult your doctor before you decide to choose any of the contraceptive methods besides the condoms. Off late, emergency contraceptive pills have become very popular but it is advisable to take only in EMERGENCY.

Regular intake may cause serious harm. Your gynecologist will let you know what will suit your body type and how to go about it. If you are taking pills, don’t just take any pill available in the market. It might have serious side effects. Your doctor knows what is best for you so never hesitate to discuss all with her, as the decision on the contraceptive of choice should be based on the right information, and not myths.

Choosing the right contraceptives (2)

--- Continued from PART 1 ---

Here’s a list of some popular contraceptive methods along with their risks and benefits:

3. Intrauterine Devices (IUDs)

• Today’s IUDs are almost 98% effective, which makes them not all that far off being as good as the Pill. Intrauterine devices (IUDs) have remained quite popular during the 21st century, especially among women who have had babies. Most IUDs are now T shaped. They’re made of plastic and copper, sometimes with a little silver inside. They sit in your womb and prevent you from getting pregnant.
  
• They do this in three main ways – they prevent your partner’s sperm from getting through your womb and into your tubes, they alter the secretions (mucus) in your cervix, creating a further barrier for sperm and they affect your womb lining – making it less likely to ‘accept’ an egg. IUDs are not so easy to insert in young women who have not had children.
• Risk: After getting and IUD inserted the initial two or three periods may become heavier and longer and even painful. You might become anemic and prone to infection.
• Benefits: A safe method if suits you and you can chose how long you want it inside you. It generally comes in 3, 5 and 10 year validity pack from the date of insertion.
• Medical advice: young, sexually active women must be carefully screened for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) before having an IUD put in.
• Warning: Avoid intercourse for a week after you have got an IUD put in, as you would be risking infection by doing so!
  

4. Contraceptive Injections

• These injections contain hormones. When injected into a muscle (usually in the buttock), the medication keeps you from getting pregnant for a considerable period of time. Most jabs are for a period of two to three months.
• Risk: Heavy or infrequent periods, headache, weight gain, dizziness, weakness and tummy ache.
• Benefits: You don’t have to remember to keep on taking anything, which makes this method very useful for the many people who forget Pills!
• Medical advice: Not suitable for women who are already suffering from undiagnosed abnormal vaginal bleeding, migraine or any hormonal problem.
• Warning: Do remember to turn up for your next injection on time. Many of the pregnancies that occur in people who are ‘on the jab’ happen because somehow the injection isn’t taken on time.

CLICK HERE for Part 3 of this series >>

Choosing the right contraceptives (1)

It might come as a shock to you if I tell you that in Modern India almost 50 per cent of the pregnancies still come as unplanned and unwanted. A recent health survey concluded that it happens even in the most educated families. With increasing number of women concentrating on their careers and delaying their marriages and pregnancy, the practice of contraception assumes even more importance. One of the secrets to lead a healthy, happy and balanced family life is to have proper knowledge and usage of contraception.

Here’s a list of some popular contraceptive methods along with their risks and benefits:

1. Oral Contraceptive Pills

• More than 100 million women worldwide use the contraceptive pill. The Pill is a tablet containing two female hormones – an oestrogen and a progestogen. These two hormones stop you from ovulating (producing an egg) each month. And if you don’t ovulate, you won’t get pregnant.
• Risk: Weight gain and high blood pressure
• Benefits: One of the safest methods of contraception; reduced risk of ovarian cancer - Pill-users have a 12% reduction in their risk of developing cancer
• Medical advice: Women on pills should go for pill-checks every six months to their gynecologist
• Warning: Do not forget to take it daily or as advised by your doctor
  

2. Female Sterilisation

• Sterilisation means preventing the woman from becoming pregnant by means of a fairly straightforward operation in which her Fallopian tubes are blocked or cut through – which makes it very difficult for her eggs to reach her womb.
• Risk: There is a small ‘failure rate’ for this operation generally estimated at around 1 in 200.
• Benefits: A permanent method; a woman who has been sterilised, but then really wants to have a baby, does nowadays have the opportunity of ‘in vitro fertilisation’ (IVF treatment).
• Medical Advice: If you are seriously overweight, it can be quite tricky for the surgeon to get at your tubes. Also, if your general health is poor, then you might not be an ideal candidate for surgery.
• Warning: If you ever miss a period after the surgery, you should get a pregnancy test done. Pain is often a warning sign of an ectopic pregnancy. If in doubt, call your doctor.

CLICK HERE for Part 2 of the series >>

Is abortion in Week 6 risky?

Q: I got married recently. My wife is pregnant. We aren't emotionally and financially ready for the added responsibility. Hence, we are contemplating abortion. My wife is 27 years old. She is about six to seven weeks into pregnancy. Can abortion create complications in the future? Is it safe? We don't want to regret later on. Kindly advise.

A: If done under strict surgical conditions, the abortion process will not affect the future. However, I strongly suggest you rethink your decision. Your wife is already 27 years old. Once accepted, the pregnancy will pass by happily. She can continue working till the eighth month of her pregnancy. Both of you will not regret the decision. Sex can also continue, but follow the instructions of her doctor.

Small testicles, Semen quality & Sex

Q1: I am a 15-year-old boy. My testicles are smaller than my friends’. When I masturbate the sacks get empty. The semen is also thin and watery. Also, I look like a girl. Is this because of my small testicles? Am I infertile? Please help.

A1: The size of the testicles varies with people. If you are passing semen, sperms will be there. Thin or thick, does not affect the sperms. When you masturbate, the testicles are pulled up. So, don't be worried.

Q2: I am 24 years old. What is the safest period in a woman's monthly cycle to indulge in unprotected sex?

A2: There's always a risk of pregnancy, even during the safe period. The risk can be taken by married couples.

Orgasms boost woman's career and health

Women who get thrills from regular orgasms are more likely to be successful at work and healthy, according to a leading expert.

Psychologist Dr Lisa Turner said that while men lose energy through orgasm, women are empowered by them and gain clarity of thought. According to Turner, the right type of orgasm will massively increase your energy.

Previous studies have suggested that 28 per cent of women rarely, or never, achieve full orgasm, and many resort to faking it. Now, Turner has said that good orgasms boost health and concentration and help women perform better at work.

Broken condoms & risk of pregnancy

Q1: I am a 26-year-old man. Next month, I will be getting married to a 22-year-old woman. We do not want children for at least three years. How do we prevent pregnancy? Will it affect our sex life?

A1: You can reconsider using a condom or visit a family planning centre. Ensure that you use only branded, good quality condoms. You can choose from Special Thick Condoms or Flavored Condoms.

Q2: I am 24 years old. I indulged in protected sex with my girlfriend. Later, we realised that the condom was torn. To avoid pregnancy, my girlfriend took an I-pill after an hour. Her periods are due next week. Will she get pregnant? We are extremely concerned. Please help.

A2: Since precaution was taken, it is unlikely for her to get pregnant. However, the pill doesn't succeed every time. So sweat it out till she gets her periods. Also use a urine pregnancy kit and check for pregnancy.

Masturbation, Night fall & Penis infection

Q1: I am a 15-year-old boy. I have been masturbating for the last five years; now I am experiencing night fall. I think I will become weak, if this continues. Please help.

A1: If you are masturbating it is unlikely you will get night emissions. Sleep well, neither your brain nor your body will wither away.

Q2: I am a 21-year-old man. Three months back a few red spots and some wax like substance appeared on the head of my penis. Since then I am unable to pull the foreskin back. My skin cracks and bleeds. Please help.

A2: Consult a doctor. An antibiotic can be prescribed after the diagnosis. The wax substance is smegma, a natural secretion under the foreskin.

How to consummate marriage?

Q1: I got married a month ago, but we are not able to consummate our marriage. I feel scared when my husband tries to penetrate me. He tried inserting his finger, but I didn’t bleed. My husband is supportive but I feel guilty of pushing him away. How we can have a normal sex life?

A1: Use Xylocaine gel 2% and apply it for 15 minutes before bedtime in and around the vagina. You will not experience pain. Ask him to insert a finger deep inside the vagina before the intercourse.

Less of ejaculation & Ringworm infection

Q1: I am a 26-year-old man and I’ve been married for the past six months. Till date I have not been able to ejaculate into my wife’s vagina directly. I need to use my hands to do so and as a result we are both left unsatisfied. Please help.

A1: Engage in more foreplay as this will help satisfy the both of you. If you are having a delayed ejaculation, then start intercourse after your wife orgasms. Then, you can withdraw and masturbate.

Q2: I’m 26 years old. I’ve had an unbearable irritation near my pelvic area for the last a few days. I used Itchguard, but it didn’t help.

A2: Visit a skin specialist. You probably have ringworm infection. With proper medication it will be cured.

Semen quantity & better Sex life

Q: I am a 34-year-old man and I have been married for the past 12 years. My wife and I have intercourse twice to thrice a week. My problem is that since the last one year, I have noticed a reduction in my discharge. If we have sex twice a day, hardly two or three drops of semen get discharged the second time around. Does this have anything to do with age? I am worried and embarrassed especially when we can't enjoy sex for the second time in the day. Please help.

A: Think of a tank of water. When it is almost empty, hardly any water will flow out. In any case, semen has nothing to do with your sexual energy - it is only necessary when you want a pregnancy to occur. Even if you had no semen you can have a normal sex life. Just be sure to check your blood sugar levels.

Satisfying sexual urge by masturbating

Q: I am a 19-year-old woman. Whenever I watch sexually-charged scenes in movies I start stimulating my private parts. Though I can only touch myself for a maximum of three seconds, a white discharge flows out of my vagina. I am really worried about this. Will indulging in such behaviour affect my future sex life or my ability to conceive a child? Also, I've noticed my periods get delayed by as much as a month whenever I do this.

A: You are satisfying your sexual urge by masturbating. This is perfectly normal and will not affect your married life or future conceptions.

Unable to consummate marriage? Know most common reasons (2)

----- Continued from Part 1 of the series -----

Dr Rajan Bhonsle gives ten most common reasons that stop couples from consummating their marriage...

6. Psychogenic Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection. In majority of cases, the cause is psychogenic, such as stress, anxiety, guilt, anger, mood disorders, relationship difficulties and past traumatic events. The treatment depends on the cause. Sex counselling and therapy is needed for psychogenic causes.

7. Organic Erectile Dysfunction
Whenever a man is unable to attain or maintain erection of penis (and thus unable to consummate his marriage) due to biological causes, it is called as organic erectile dysfunction. Organic causes may include endocrine conditions such as diabetes (50% of diabetic men suffer from ED), disorders of pituitary, thyroid or adrenal glands, diminished testosterone levels, reactions to certain medications especially hypertension medications, and many more.

8. Performance Anxiety
Fear of failure or anxiety about impotence ranks first in order of prevalence, in all the sexual fears that men bear. Ironically, the fear itself is the greatest cause of impotence and thus non-consummation of marriage. If a man is more focused on how well he is performing with a partner, rather than on enjoying the sensations in the sexual act, it may be difficult to attain or maintain an erection. This can become a vicious cycle. The remedy is to learn to relax. A couple needs to know that there is no possible way that a man can have an erection at will. When a man is involved in foreplay, without 'examining' the organ, erection happens on its own. The wife's cooperation plays a very important role in getting over such psychogenic impotence.

9. Premature Ejaculation (pe)
PE is the most common complaint amongst men. It is not a physical problem, but a 'learning disability' found very commonly in newlyweds. Ejaculating early is a 'learned reflex response' that can be effectively re-conditioned when a man and a woman actively learn ejaculation control together. The 'squeeze technique' or the 'stop-start technique' can benefit in this case.

10. Fsad
FSAD stands for Female Sexual Arousal Disorder. Female arousal is as much necessary as male erection for a couple to engage into intercourse. The physical causes of the same include many hormonal, and other organic causes that cause erectile dysfunction in men. Psychological issues that contribute to FSAD are physical or psychological abuse, low self-esteem or distorted body image. Unrealistic expectations from the partner and unresolved emotional and relational issues in the couple also can cause FSAD. Certain medications can also impair female sexual arousal.

Surgery for tight foreskin

Q: My foreskin is very tight. I want to go in for surgery. Is the surgery painful? Will I experience pain after surgery? What is the recovery time? Please suggest a good hospital for the same.

A: The surgery is a simple procedure and is usually done under local anesthesia. You can walk home after a few hours of rest and get back to work after two days. You will heal completely within 10 to 14 days. Opt for a hospital near your home. Visit a private hospital such as Jaslok, Bhatia, Hinduja (all in Mumbai) or a general hospital if you don't wish to spend much.

Sex with girlfriend & after pregnancy

Q1: I indulged in anal sex with my girlfriend. However, during the act, my penis just touched her vagina. Does she need to take any contraceptives?

A1: The act may cause infection to both of you, and particularly cause injury to her anal region. The anal membrane is much thinner. She still risks pregnancy so I will advice you to buy a urine pregnancy kit and check for pregnancy.

Q2: My wife is two months pregnant. Can we indulge in intercourse? If yes, till what month of pregnancy can we continue? What are the precautions to be taken?

A2: Ask her obstetrician for permission. If everything is okay, you can continue till the eighth month. However, you must keep her mood in mind. The first three months might be difficult but she may show a good desire to get physical during the next six months. Ensure that you approach the vagina from the rear or when she is in a sitting position. Avoid the missionary position.

Unable to consummate marriage? Know most common reasons...

Dr Rajan Bhonsle gives ten most common reasons that stop couples from consummating their marriage...

1. Lack of Emotional Involvement

Many women carry an apprehension regarding sex and hence, are unable to respond comfortably during the first few attempts of intercourse. This may also happen due to lack of emotional involvement in the relationship, especially if it's an arranged marriage. A woman's sexuality is usually 'heart-oriented'. It is best to wait a little and do not rush things.

2. Penetration Phobia

Irrational fear or phobia associated with penetration is often a cause of non-consummation of marriage, even in educated couples. The cause is a deep rooted psychological fear related to the genitals, mostly due to physical and/or psychological trauma in the earlier years. It may also be a learned fear caused by listening to myths about painful penetration during the impressionable years. Due to this, the woman rejects all attempts of penetration made by her partner.

3. Dyspareunia

There are several possible causes for dyspareunia, better understood as pain during intercourse. The problem arises because the woman's pelvic muscles may be too tight, or her vagina may not be adequately lubricated. Also, her hymen may still be partially intact which may be causing pain. It is strongly recommended that couples avoid having intercourse until the cause of this pain is found, or else things may only get worse. In later stages, a physical problem may become a psychological one.

4. A Tight Hymen

The hymen is a thin membrane that covers the vagina. It may or may not be present at birth. In some women the hymen is extra thick and tight. This makes it either impossible to penetrate during intercourse. Also, it may cause severe pain and bleeding if penetration is forcibly attempted. If a gynaecologist finds the hymen to be unusually tight on examination, a small surgery - hymenectomy - may be necessary before the couple attempts intercourse.

5. Vaginismus

Vaginismus is an 'involuntary spasm' of the muscle controlling the entrance to the vagina during attempts of penetration that invariably causes pain and discomfort. The cause is a deep rooted psychological fear related to the genitals. The woman involuntarily tightens the muscles of her vagina, making penetration painful and impossible. A woman may or may not be consciously aware of the root cause. No medication can help in such a situation. A sex therapist trained in counselling and psychotherapy is better equipped to deal with it.

----- To be concluded -----

Foreskin & Pains of Masturbation

Q1: I am a 21-year-old man. I lose my erection if I try to pull my foreskin down. It seems that the tip of my foreskin is attached to the head of my penis. Please tell me what to do. Do I need to consult anyone? Will this cause a problem while having sex?

A1: The foreskin is naturally attached to the under-surface of the head of the penis. Do not try to push it further, otherwise it will pain. See a surgeon or your family doctor.

Q2: I am a 23-year-old man. After masturbation, I experience severe pain in both my legs for at least six to seven hours. Though the pain subsides later without any medication, I am extremely worried about this. Please advise what I should do. Please reply.

A2: This should not happen. You should see vascular specialist who may advise a Doppler study. If you are having a good erection it is unlikely that anything is wrong.

Is it true that all Indians have big sex organs?

Q: I am a 34-year-old virgin of Malaysian Chinese origin. My fiancé is a 32-year-old Malaysian Indian. He has tried to have intercourse with me many times after our engagement, but without any success. His penis is long and big. I am afraid my vagina will not be able to accommodate it. We have tried KY jelly. I am very worried and am thinking of calling off our marriage, though I love him. What should I do? Is it true that all Indians have big sex organs?

A: The vagina in any culture is able to expand enough to deliver a baby and has the ability to lengthen to accommodate the length of the penis. You are probably not using the right position. Try the woman on top position. I suggest you do not have sex till after marriage to avoid complications.

How to control wife demanding sex too often?

Q: I am 36 years old and my wife is 42. She demands sex at least every alternate day. It is affecting my health. Is there any way I can control her sexual desire?

A: Why control her? Rather buck up and build your stamina. Arouse your desires and instead of thinking of sex as a duty, try to enjoy it. Please be more positive. Of course you could ask her to give you a holiday sometime.

Large penis & unprotected Sex

Q1: I am 21 years old. My penis is very large in size and it is slightly tilted towards the left. Will it harm my sex life? Or will my child be born handicap due to this?

A1: Neither your sexual activity nor your progeny will be affected in any way. In case you're facing trouble with erections, you should try the proven techniques to prolong erection.

Q2: I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend on the seventh day of her periods. However, her next periods lasted only for two days. We are worried that she might be pregnant. We regret our mistake. Please help.

A2: Buy a urine pregnancy kit and check for pregnancy. Most probably, it will be negative. If tested positive, consult a gynaecologist. If your girlfriend experienced a good flow during the supposed periods, then that was her menstruation.

Monotonous Sex life and drugs

Q1: I have been using a capsule called spasmo proxyvon for the past two years. I feel my penis size is reducing because of this. It measures about four inches when erect. Will this capsule affect my sex life? Also, I want to get rid of this drug addiction. Please help.

A1: I am sorry to say, you have become a drug addict. It is wise that you try to get out of it before your normal and sexual life is disturbed. Instead of drugs, you should use proven techniques to prolong erection. You should also contact a drug addiction centre such as SANKALP. Tel: 24901302.

Q2: I am 40 years old and my wife is 35. Our sex life has become monotonous over the last two years. We want to experiment with oral and anal sex. Is it harmful? Please suggest.

A2: Why not break the monotony by going back to your early naughty days. Have a bath or a massage together. Oral sex is not harmful but please avoid anal sex, and if you must, then only with a special thick condom.

Complications of Pregnancy & Sex

Q: I am 26 years old. My wife is 25 years old. 1) We plan to have a baby only after two years, but our parents are forcing us to hurry up. They say that when a woman turns 30, there are chances of complications during pregnancy. Is this true? Also, would my sperm count go down as I approach 30? 2) Can flavoured condoms cause any complications? 3) Sometimes, the intercourse lasts for 10 minutes. At times, it gets over before three minutes. Is it okay? Should I practice 'start and stop' technique? 4) Please tell us about the best possible positions. 5) On what days of the monthly period cycle can we indulge in unprotected sex?

A: 1) You both have the right to decide when you wish to start a family. It is best she gets herself examined by a gynaecologist and you have a sperm count test done to ensure all is well when you wish to have a baby. It is best to start trying when you are 25. After that, there are higher chances of facing a difficulty. 2) No complications, if you use condoms from reputed manufacturers. Get the doctors-tested Flavored Condoms. 3) You can, but this is not essential. 4) Refer the net or the Kamasutra. You are doing okay. 5) The first and last seven days of the period cycle counting from the first day of period. It is virtually safe and worth taking a risk. For added safety, your wife could insert the barrier tablet TODAY, 15 minutes before intercourse. She can also use Water-based lubricats for additional comfort and guaranteed results.

Is Sex sleeping pill?

Q: I am 32 years old. I have been married for the past eight years. I love sex and indulge in it every day. I can’t sleep if I don’t have sex. My wife is very co-operative. However, she occasionally experiences stomach aches due to this. Are my habits normal? Please suggest.

A: Sex is not a sleeping pill. Indulge in it when you both enjoy it, and not necessarily on a daily basis. Your primary duty is to ensure that your wife is comfortable.

Solution of bedwetting

Q: I am 24 years old. I suffer from a problem of bedwetting. I have tried a lot to get rid of it, but haven’t been successful. I have decided to commit suicide if I don’t get rid of this problem before next year. Also, I don’t have facial hair under my nose. It is very embarrassing. Please help.

A: Why do you take these common problems so seriously? How does it matter to anyone whether you have hair under your nose or not? Does it make you less of a man? Regarding your bedwetting problem, consult a urologist at the genito urinary department of any major hospital such as Sion, KEM and JJ. Visit hospitals such as Hinduja and Jaslok if you can afford. Do not be
desperate. There is a solution to your problem.

Is masturbation immoral & lead to irregular periods?

Q1: I indulged in masturbation last week. Am I a bad human being? I am very scared. How do I quit masturbation? Please help.

A1: It is quite common for a person to masturbate. It is a safe method to satisfy one's sexual
excitement. Do it only for satisfaction and do not turn it into a habit. Do not think
yourself inferior for this.

Q2: Can masturbation be the reason for irregular periods?

A2: Masturbation will not disturb your period cycle.

Periods, oral sex & Sex after pregnancy

Q1: 1) I experience motions during my periods. Is it normal or do I need to consult a doctor? 2) Is oral sex illegal in India? However, I believe many couples indulge in it.

A1: 1) You could consult a doctor to decide whether there's any other cause involved. 2) Yes, oral sex is illegal. The archaic laws have not been modified. It is a sensitive subject. In privacy, many couples indulge in it. Some do it to avoid unsafe intercourse, being scared of AIDS.

Q2: My wife delivered two months ago and underwent tubectomy 20 days later. For how long should we abstain from sex?

A2: Ask the doctor who operated her. I think you can start immediately without any anxiety.

Hygienic ways of masturbation

Q: I am 21 years old. I am fed up of masturbating in the bathroom. I don't feel relaxed and can't use techniques that I can use elsewhere. If I masturbate on the bed or the floor, it needs to be cleaned later. Please suggest an alternative. Also, can a tight underwear create problems?

A: A tight underwear can interfere with sperm production. Why not keep a cloth handy in which you can ejaculate? That way you won't have to clean the bed sheet or the floor.

How to have safe sex with married girlfriend?

Q: I have sex with my married girlfriend two to three times a month. She also has sex with her husband. Initially we have unprotected sex but when I ejaculate I wear a condom. But a colourless liquid comes out of my penis during foreplay. My girlfriend is pregnant and she is confused as to whose baby it is. Please help, we are sextremely worried.

A: You are indulging in unsafe sex. The colourless liquid i.e. the precum fluid can have sperms. Either men could have caused the pregnancy.

Fantasising about women dominating in bed & Sex

Q1: I am a 25-year-old man. The number of times I masturbate has considerably reduced after I turned 20. Will this affect my marriage? Also when I was 15, I had sex with a 24-year-old woman. She started bleeding and I experienced pain in my penis. Can this lead to an HIV infection?

A1: Get over your anxiety, you are OK. Your married life will be fine too.

Q2: I am a 28-year-old married man. While having sex, I get excited only after fantasising about other women who are dominating in bed. I am unable to tell this to my wife. Is this normal?

A2: This is known as masochistic behaviour. Your wife is your life partner, so tell her or continue your fantasy.

Unprotected sex, HIV & ELISA test

Q: I had protected sex with two sex workers on different occasions. I have undergone several HIV tests and the result has always been negative. I also consulted an expert who said I am out of danger. Recently I read an article that said it’s important to get tested every three to five months. Is that true? Also I feel guilty about my behaviour and cannot forgive myself.

A: Since you have been cleared by reliable tests and by an expert, why torture yourself? You enjoyed the experience, so keep it at that and do not repeat it. You do not need any more tests, but if you wish you could repeat an ELISA test after the fifth month.

Kissing, HIV, Pregnancy & iPill

Q1: Does kissing your partner on the lips cause HIV or any other infection?

A1: If you trust your partner, go ahead and kiss him/her. There is no chance of any disease or infection.

Q2: I am a 25-year-old woman. I had sex on the ninth day of my period. Within five hours I had an I-Pill. Are there any chances of pregnancy? When can I conceive again?

A2: Since you have taken the emergency pill on time you are unlikely to be pregnant. However, you could get pregnant in the same cycle if you continue to have sex without protection.

Masturbation & Nightfalls at young age

Q1: I am 61 years old. Whenever I see a beautiful lady, I feel aroused and masturbate immediately. Can it prove harmful at this age? Please advise.

A1: Your fantasies are okay as long as you do not translate them into action or make the women feel that you are undressing them with your ‘dirty old man’ looks.

Q2: I am 19 years old. I am experiencing nightfalls. I wish to stop them. Please help. Also, how do I masturbate?

A2: Nightfall is a natural way by which the excess old sperms are thrown out of the body to make place for the new ones. Masturbation is done by stroking the penis with the hand. It is a common and safe way of relieving sexual excitement. It should be done only for that purpose. Do not make it into a habit. It is harmless and does not damage any part of the body.