Ask Sexpert: Masturbation & Hygiene

Q: I am 17 years old. I have a habit of masturbating with my underwear on. I live in a joint family where my clothes go in for washing with those of other members. Can my sperms cause pregnancy to women in my family?

A: You are very un-hygienic. Why don't you wash your underwear before putting it for washing? The sperms cannot cause a pregnancy.

Ask Sexpert: What is Nightfall?

Q: I am 24 years old. For the past eight years, I have been experiencing nightfall two to three times a week. I stopped masturbating long back. Due to nightfall, I have become very weak. Whenever I get sexually excited, a white sticky fluid is secreted from my penis. Please help.

A: Nightfall is a natural experience. If you masturbate, nightfall will stop. Both are harmless. What you see on getting excited is a lubricating fluid secreted by a special gland meant to do just that. So stop worrying.

Ask Sexpert: How to check Virginity?

Q: How can it be ascertained if my wife is a virgin or not, immediately after marriage?

A: Starting with a suspicion ruins many marriages. Just like she cannot find out whether you had an early experience, you cannot find out either. The absent hymen and bleeding at the first intercourse are no indications for virginity.

Ask Sexpert: Problem with Testicles

Q: I am 27 years old. My testicles are not in the same position. It means that one of the testicles is somewhat ‘upside’ and the other one is ‘downside’. Also, they are of disparate sizes. Please help.

A: It’s a unique description. Don’t worry. The left testicle is most often lower than the right one.

Ask Sexpert: Sex Education before Marriage?

Q: I am a bachelor and will be getting married in a few days. Is it okay for adult men and women to undergo sex education before marriage? Or is it solely a trend adopted from the western civilization? Does it go against Indian customs, and eventually lead to social degradation?

A: Have you never heard of the famous frescos at Khajurao and the Kamasutra which has always helped our ancestors with premarital counselling? No social degradation will take place. On the contrary, your and your partner’s ignorance will be dispelled. There is much to be learnt about the first night, about keeping the fire of desire and companionship alive throughout your life and clearing the misconceptions about sex that you may have.

Ask Sexpert: Color Of Genital Area

Q: My penis is too dark. Is it possible to make its colour similar to my skin tone?

A: The genital skin is darker than the rest of the body. In any case, action is the key word and not the colour. Who is going to see the difference?

Ask Sexpert: Looks & Sex

Q: I am 28 years old. Since I am short and not good-looking, I am finding it difficult to get a partner. I am unable to suppress my sexual desires. Hence, I am planning to visit a sex worker. Is it wrong to satiate my desires? Why is it considered immoral? What precautions should I take?

A: Never mind the morality. You should ensure your safety first. Condoms may break or slip off during the act and if the unknown partner has an infection such as Herpes or HIV/AIDS, you will contract it too and have to live with it for the rest of your life. I think it is not your height, but your attitudes and behaviour that need to examined and changed. You may masturbate or you may get married.

Ask Sexpert: Personal Hygiene

Q: I am 27 years old. I will be getting married next month. I wish to know about personal hygiene habits. Do I need to shave my genital area?

A: You can trim your underarm and pubic hair with a pair of scissors.

Ask Sexpert: Oral Sex & Vaginal Opening

Q: I am 23 years old. I recently got married. My wife insists on oral sex during foreplay and gets exhausted in 20 minutes. Is it safe? Secondly, her vaginal opening is small and she experiences pain during the initial two-three minutes. What do we do?

A: Oral sex is safe with a known partner. Many married couples include it in their foreplay, even though it is considered illegal by our government. Her exhaustion is actually her reaching an orgasm. With a little rest she and you can continue as women experience multiple orgasms. The vagina is expandable and can expand to deliver a baby. So it can obviously stretch to accommodate a penis. Ensure that she is well lubricated.

Ask Sexpert: Am I Virgin?

Q: I am a 21-year-old virgin. My boyfriend always insists on fingering me. I am scared that if the hymen breaks, I will bleed. How do I explain this to him? I am also scared to lose my virginity.

A: If he inserts his finger your hymen may split. However, that does not mean you are not a virgin – you will be one until you have intercourse. The bleeding following the split is small and stops soon. You will have to give him a firm no or prepare him to leave for greener pastures.

Ask Sexpert: Big Breasts

Q: I am 21 years old. My problem is that I have very big breasts. Is there any medicine to reduce their size?

A: You may have to live with them as only cosmetic surgery can help you. You have an advantage as many men are attracted to big breasts. Finally, you can try to put on more weight.

Ask Sexpert: Hardness Of Penis

Q: I am 33 years old. When erect, my penis head is softer than the base. The hardness is maintained to about three-fourth of the penis length. However, the head is comparatively weaker. Is this normal? Do I need medical attention? Also, is it okay to have the penis partially covered with foreskin during erection?

A: The glans is made up of spongy tissue. Hence, what you feel is normal. So long as the foreskin slips back, up to the base of the head of the penis, you require no treatment.

Ask Sexpert: Unsafe Premarital Sex

Q: I am engaged and will be getting married soon. My fiancée and I have mutually decided to indulge in pre-marital sex. We don’t wish to use a condom. Please advise an alternate contraceptive method.

A: She could start an oral contraceptive pill e.g. Ovral-L, one pill everyday for 21 days, starting from the fifth day of her periods. The pills are effective after the first cycle. It’s best to wait till marriage which is soon to take place. You both can indulge in many things other than intercourse.

Ask Sexpert: Masturbation & Periods

Q: Can masturbation delay a woman’s periods? Also, if my girlfriend opts for a blood test to detect pregnancy, does she need to go through the usual blood test or for a special blood test that’s exclusively meant to detect pregnancy?

A: Masturbation should not delay the period. A urine pregnancy test – the kit available from the chemist can give an indication of pregnancy. No need for a blood test.

Ask Sexpert: Problems With Ejaculation

Q: I am a 28-year-old bachelor. I masturbate four to five times a week. I enjoy it, but face a problem during ejaculation. My semen comes out quite slowly, falling in the form of droplets from the tip of my penis. My friend told me that it should shoot out like a projectile. Is this normal? Please explain. I am going to get married in a few months. Will this affect my sex life? What is the accepted velocity of ejaculation?

A: You are not in the army! As long as the drops fall inside your partner’s vagina, it is good enough for conception. You are normal.

Ask Sexpert: Non-Responsive Wife

Q: I am 23-year-old married man. Whenever I have sex with my wife, I don’t get a proper response from her. She says she is shy. I have spoken with her about this. She promises that it won’t happen again, but the situation remains the same. I am not satisfied with my sex life at all. I am very passionate about sex. What should I do?

A: One of the great pleasures is to arouse your partner to active participation. It can only be possible when you are skilled at foreplay. Be gentle, stimulate her by touch – even her genital areas – and continue till she has an orgasm before having intercourse. Convince her that marriage has given both of you the chance to have sex the way you want to have it. Have patience and remember to never lower her self-esteem.

Ask Sexpert: Male Nipples

Q: I am a 17-year-old boy. I have a problem with my nipples since the last three years. They are unusually big. They only become normal when I press them back to shape or when I feel cold. Otherwise they remain in a disc-like shape. What do I do about this? Please don’t tell me to see a doctor because I’ve already done it, he said there was no treatment for this. Please recommend some exercises or medicines.

A: Live with what you have. Nobody is bothered about your nipples except yourself. Get over your inferiority complex.

Ask Sexpert: French Kissing & Pregnancy

Q: I am a 23-year-old man and my girlfriend is a year elder to me. Last fortnight we indulged in a French kiss which lasted for 10 to 15 minutes. Her period, which was due three days back, hasn’t started. She is getting very scared because she thinks it is because of the kiss. She is not ready to kiss me any more. I am really worried. Can it be true? Please help.

A: From what I know of French kissing – and I hope you’re referring to the same – there is no chance of pregnancy. Her period may have been delayed because of excitement.

Ask Sexpert: Donating Sperms

Q: I am a 34-year-old man and I stay in Ulhasnagar. I want to donate my sperms. Please tell me of any hospital or organisation in and around my suburb where I can do the same. Do they charge for it?

A: See a nearby pathologist for more information. In fact, as a donor, you may get paid!

Ask Sexpert: Early Orgasms

Q: I am 30 years old. I got married five years back. Earlier, a sexual act lasting for 30 minutes was enough to satisfy me. However, these days, even 60 to 90 minutes doesn’t suffice. We indulge in adequate foreplay. I have been using Copper T for last three years. Is it responsible for my problem?

A: Copper T is not known to decrease desire. There must be another reason. Try to identify and correct it. Take an extended holiday. Relive your romance. Request your husband to increase the foreplay duration till you reach an orgasm. He should enter after that. If he finishes early, you may continue stimulation of genitals till you reach a second orgasm, or even a third.

Ask Sexpert: Masturbation & Self Control

Q: I am 24 years old. Since many years, I have been masturbating every day. I cannot control my habit. I wanted to know: 1) Will it affect my sperm production? 2) Will it affect my health?

A: As you are an adult, I am sure with a little effort you will get out of the habit and masturbate only to relieve genuine sexual arousal. Practice self-control. You will succeed after few months. To answer your questions: 1) No. Sperms will last you a lifetime. 2) Masturbation is harmless, but must be used rationally.

Ask Sexpert: Kissing & HIV

Q: I am 17 years old. Three months ago, my online friend came to meet me. She tried to seduce me and kissed me. I asked her to leave, but later I noticed a cut on my lips. Am I infected with HIV? I have also developed rashes on my body — some look like ant bites and others look like red colour spots.

A: Visit your family doctor. Tell him everything and get a check-up done. He will conduct appropriate tests. The rashes may not be serious. He will prescribe you proper medication. Share your tension with your parent, an elder brother or someone who you trust. I don’t think you are infected but it’s good to be sure.

Ask Sexpert: Masturbation & Stress

Q: I am a 27-year-old man working in an MNC. I have been masturbating for the last three years. I want to stop it but I can't control myself. Because of work pressure, I masturbate for relief. I don't smoke or drink. I get sleep only after masturbating. WilI this lifestyle affect me?

A: Masturbation is no answer for your stress, nor is it a sleeping tablet! Instead, cope with your work better, leave all the day's problems outside the bedroom, have a hot water bath, do some light exercise and take a cup of hot milk at bedtime. Yoga too will help you.

Ask Sexpert: Safe use of Condoms

Q: I am 32 and my wife is 30. We use protection while having intercourse. Is there any other safe method to prevent pregnancy other than condoms both for men and women?

A: The condom is the safest and most convenient contraceptive. At times if you wish to have sex without it, choose the first and last seven days of her period counting from the first day.

Ask Sexpert: Frequent Masturbation

Q: I am 20 years old. I have a bad habit of masturbating rigourously. Due to this my penis is all scratched up. I ignored this for some years but now tiny hair has started growing in the area which makes my penis look bad. Can they be removed permanently?

A: Sorry, I will not be able to help you. Use a pair of scissors and trim. It is up to you to feel good or bad. Nobody is going to admire your penis except you.

Welcome

Welcome to this unique blog - FAQ related to "sex" and useful answers... Most of these FAQ's are published in print media like Mumbai Mirror and Hindustan Times. I am reproducing them for the sake of my online readers. Please note that I am not responsible for any content that is published here, nor can be held responsible for any IPR related issues.