Surgery for tight foreskin

Q: My foreskin is very tight. I want to go in for surgery. Is the surgery painful? Will I experience pain after surgery? What is the recovery time? Please suggest a good hospital for the same.

A: The surgery is a simple procedure and is usually done under local anesthesia. You can walk home after a few hours of rest and get back to work after two days. You will heal completely within 10 to 14 days. Opt for a hospital near your home. Visit a private hospital such as Jaslok, Bhatia, Hinduja (all in Mumbai) or a general hospital if you don't wish to spend much.

Sex with girlfriend & after pregnancy

Q1: I indulged in anal sex with my girlfriend. However, during the act, my penis just touched her vagina. Does she need to take any contraceptives?

A1: The act may cause infection to both of you, and particularly cause injury to her anal region. The anal membrane is much thinner. She still risks pregnancy so I will advice you to buy a urine pregnancy kit and check for pregnancy.

Q2: My wife is two months pregnant. Can we indulge in intercourse? If yes, till what month of pregnancy can we continue? What are the precautions to be taken?

A2: Ask her obstetrician for permission. If everything is okay, you can continue till the eighth month. However, you must keep her mood in mind. The first three months might be difficult but she may show a good desire to get physical during the next six months. Ensure that you approach the vagina from the rear or when she is in a sitting position. Avoid the missionary position.

Unable to consummate marriage? Know most common reasons...

Dr Rajan Bhonsle gives ten most common reasons that stop couples from consummating their marriage...

1. Lack of Emotional Involvement

Many women carry an apprehension regarding sex and hence, are unable to respond comfortably during the first few attempts of intercourse. This may also happen due to lack of emotional involvement in the relationship, especially if it's an arranged marriage. A woman's sexuality is usually 'heart-oriented'. It is best to wait a little and do not rush things.

2. Penetration Phobia

Irrational fear or phobia associated with penetration is often a cause of non-consummation of marriage, even in educated couples. The cause is a deep rooted psychological fear related to the genitals, mostly due to physical and/or psychological trauma in the earlier years. It may also be a learned fear caused by listening to myths about painful penetration during the impressionable years. Due to this, the woman rejects all attempts of penetration made by her partner.

3. Dyspareunia

There are several possible causes for dyspareunia, better understood as pain during intercourse. The problem arises because the woman's pelvic muscles may be too tight, or her vagina may not be adequately lubricated. Also, her hymen may still be partially intact which may be causing pain. It is strongly recommended that couples avoid having intercourse until the cause of this pain is found, or else things may only get worse. In later stages, a physical problem may become a psychological one.

4. A Tight Hymen

The hymen is a thin membrane that covers the vagina. It may or may not be present at birth. In some women the hymen is extra thick and tight. This makes it either impossible to penetrate during intercourse. Also, it may cause severe pain and bleeding if penetration is forcibly attempted. If a gynaecologist finds the hymen to be unusually tight on examination, a small surgery - hymenectomy - may be necessary before the couple attempts intercourse.

5. Vaginismus

Vaginismus is an 'involuntary spasm' of the muscle controlling the entrance to the vagina during attempts of penetration that invariably causes pain and discomfort. The cause is a deep rooted psychological fear related to the genitals. The woman involuntarily tightens the muscles of her vagina, making penetration painful and impossible. A woman may or may not be consciously aware of the root cause. No medication can help in such a situation. A sex therapist trained in counselling and psychotherapy is better equipped to deal with it.

----- To be concluded -----

Foreskin & Pains of Masturbation

Q1: I am a 21-year-old man. I lose my erection if I try to pull my foreskin down. It seems that the tip of my foreskin is attached to the head of my penis. Please tell me what to do. Do I need to consult anyone? Will this cause a problem while having sex?

A1: The foreskin is naturally attached to the under-surface of the head of the penis. Do not try to push it further, otherwise it will pain. See a surgeon or your family doctor.

Q2: I am a 23-year-old man. After masturbation, I experience severe pain in both my legs for at least six to seven hours. Though the pain subsides later without any medication, I am extremely worried about this. Please advise what I should do. Please reply.

A2: This should not happen. You should see vascular specialist who may advise a Doppler study. If you are having a good erection it is unlikely that anything is wrong.

Is it true that all Indians have big sex organs?

Q: I am a 34-year-old virgin of Malaysian Chinese origin. My fiancé is a 32-year-old Malaysian Indian. He has tried to have intercourse with me many times after our engagement, but without any success. His penis is long and big. I am afraid my vagina will not be able to accommodate it. We have tried KY jelly. I am very worried and am thinking of calling off our marriage, though I love him. What should I do? Is it true that all Indians have big sex organs?

A: The vagina in any culture is able to expand enough to deliver a baby and has the ability to lengthen to accommodate the length of the penis. You are probably not using the right position. Try the woman on top position. I suggest you do not have sex till after marriage to avoid complications.

How to control wife demanding sex too often?

Q: I am 36 years old and my wife is 42. She demands sex at least every alternate day. It is affecting my health. Is there any way I can control her sexual desire?

A: Why control her? Rather buck up and build your stamina. Arouse your desires and instead of thinking of sex as a duty, try to enjoy it. Please be more positive. Of course you could ask her to give you a holiday sometime.